Gratitude is a hard a thing to come by when you are feeling hollow. These days I feel very hollow, like there’s something missing. Self doubt has clouded the shine of clarity and the only question that echoes through my existence is, would I ever be able to redeem myself.

Sadness has not helped anyone. It may have also made people do unimaginable things. But tonight I don’t know why I want to be in the grip of this sadness because this is where my choices have led me.

People have been very interesting throughout this journey. They have been extremely kind, helpful, and rude most of the times. Rude because at times I was hurt because of things they said to me. There’s a possibility that they could have been, at least, telling their side of the truth.

I earlier said that, “I have made interesting, or rather bizarre, choices in the past”, Reason I don’t know whether to call it interesting or bizarre is I don’t know what has been happening with me right now or maybe because I’m hopeful the next morning would be different. Different from what I’m feeling right now. Bringing more positive vibes.

Regaining faith is one of the exercises that I’m doing these days. Being in touch with the spiritual side helps you sail through tough times. And in hope of sailing I’m throwing my hands and legs at full speed. This speed is powered be hope. This hope is directly proportional to the mood swings. This hope has till now kept me hooked to the sanity of choices that I have made.

This is me right now. Confused, Obese, Trying to be sober, Gloomy, Anxious and a little scared.

P.S. I’m leaving this on blog as a reminder to myself that not all days are same. People do not stay same. And if you’re reading this and are a little worried about me then please don’t be. There’s nothing to worry. Happiness is just around the corner. For me, and you as well.

See You Guys Soon.

Jd