It’s 3:47 AM.

The world is asleep.

My toddler is finally snoring like a baby dragon.

The EMIs are snoozing quietly in my netbanking tab.

My phone is on silent.

The kitchen is cleaned and waiting for a peaceful morning brew.

And I’m sweating like I’m in the Sahara because I just dreamt that my 12th board exams start in 23 minutes and—surprise!—I haven’t studied a single chapter of organic chemistry.

Why?

Because clearly, my subconscious thinks the only thing standing between me and “being a responsible adult” is my inability to balance a redox reaction or draw the graph of sin²x. Not the fact that I haven’t had an emergency fund since 2015 or that my idea of a workout is chasing my toddler with half a sock in his mouth.

Two decades. Two whole decades since I last touched a Class 12 textbook.

Since then, I’ve learned how to do my taxes, write emails that start with “Hope this finds you well” and end with “Thanks & Regards,” and calculate discounts while shopping like a NASA scientist on a budget.

But nope—my brain still thinks “life preparation” means memorizing the periodic table.

And you know what’s worse?

These dreams don’t strike when I’m solving life crises.

No, they arrive when I’m at my happiest.

Planning a long weekend. Finally about to sit on the couch and sip the coffee made by my lovely wife.

Basically, just when I start to believe I’ve earned a moment of peace, boom!

“Kya Jayendra, is this the time to relax? Have you revised thermodynamics?”

I once tried to talk to a therapist about this. She said, “It’s a common dream. A metaphor for feeling unprepared.”

I wanted to say, “Ma’am, at this point, even my nightmares are repeating syllabus.”

But maybe ChatGPT was right when it said my dreams reflect my fear of being unprepared for life.

The problem is—what part of life can I even prepare for?

Marriage? There’s no chapter in NCERT titled “How to say ‘I’m sorry’ even when you don’t know why.”

Parenting? No worksheet prepares you for “What to do when toddler uses toothpaste as wall paint.”

Finance? I know trigonometry but I still don’t know where my PF account is.

So yes, I may not be ready for every twist and turn in life.

But I am ready to face one fact:

I will never escape the ghost of Board Exams.

And as long as I keep running low on sleep, insurance, and backup plans… my subconscious will always be that annoying invigilator in the dream who says: “Five minutes left. Attempt all questions.”

So, dear dream:

Let me live.

Let me sit.

Let me sip my coffee.

And please, for the love of caffeine and adulting…

let me forget the structure of benzene.

Later.