(Notes from a man who is 35, feels 11, has too much information in his head, and permanent back pain)

Becoming a father is like getting promoted without training. HR never calls, there’s no induction session, and yet suddenly there’s this tiny CEO at home who dictates your sleep schedule, your wallet balance, and even your bowel movements. And at 35, while my spine sounds like bubble wrap every time I bend, my brain still feels like I’m 11 except now I know how to to say sorry to my wife in three different ways when I still don’t know how to do my taxes.

Here’s what fatherhood has really taught me:

1. Friendships Save You From Drowning

Nobody told me fatherhood is lonely. Most dads just quietly vanish into work, bills, and routines until they become background furniture at home. Building friendships outside my marriage and kids saved me from that slow fade. Laughing with other men, talking nonsense, or just sharing silence gave me oxygen. And when I return, I show up stronger for my family because I’m no longer carrying the weight alone.

2. Work-Life Balance is a Lie

Forget “balance.” Life comes in seasons. Sometimes you’re Superdad, at school functions pretending you care about clay models. Sometimes you’re Corporate Gladiator, chasing a bank balance like it’s Pokémon. Both roles collide, and you mostly end up being a tired man in formals eating half a biscuit at 11 PM.

3. No YouTube Dad Tutorials

There’s no “Top 10 Hacks to Be a Perfect Papa” video that works. Every day is improvisation. It’s jazz with diapers. You invent your own version of controlled chaos, and if the kid is alive, fed, and hasn’t renamed your iPhone to “Poopoo,” you’re doing fine.

4. Grief, Pain & Coffee

Therapy tells you what you want to hear. Coffee tells you what you need to hear: “Shut up, drink me, and move.” Pain – emotional, financial, physical just doesn’t leave. You just learn to walk with it, like an annoying relative who refuses to go home.

5. You Can’t Fix Everything

You can’t cure people’s addiction to drama. You can’t stop your expensive gadget from committing suicide exactly one day before payday. You can’t prevent relatives from asking, “Beta, when’s the second one coming?” Sometimes, you just raise your hands and whisper, Jai Mata Di.

6. Apologize Even When You Don’t Want To

Peace is expensive. Apologies are cheap. So even when you’re right (and let’s be honest, you rarely are), saying “sorry” saves you from being renamed to “The Silent Guy in the Bedroom” for three days straight.

7. Be Proud of Yourself

Seriously. Amidst chaos, cracked screens, midnight crying sessions, and that constant back pain if you showed up, fed your family, and didn’t sell your child to a circus, pat yourself on the back. You’re doing better than you think.

At the end of the day, fatherhood is less about being the perfect role model and more about being a relatable human with terrible jokes and strong shoulders. And while I may be 35 on paper, deep down I’m just an 11-year-old boy who now pays EMIs.

Later.

Jd