Expanding The Horizons

Air Kicks

March 12th, 2018

Taken from Google Images.

“Long distance was, and is, a terrible idea… a really terrible idea” – Ted Mosby.

I don’t understand relationships though I’m fifty percent of my relationship since last eight and half years. I get it, I mean; I get the point that when you like being with someone then you’ve to be with that person rather than to be elsewhere.

As a part of a country, where opportunities to work and grow are concentrated in very few areas and from where habitable zones are miles away, how are you supposed to make the work-life balance?

Thanks to Globalization and liberalization that footloose industries came and provided opportunities for people to be around those they love but still the problems of long-distance relationship persist.

But what if destiny keeps throwing you on a completely different path?

See, Growth is not the issue but growing apart is. Being a millennial I have seen many parents, including mine, living apart to provide for the family and for our education but I have also witnessed many of them falling apart or just simply being together for the sake of their children and, all time abused, society.

And also with the knock of liberalization, we have seen steep growth in the divorce rate. I don’t blame divorce, I mean, it’s better to live alone than to live together miserably.

But when it all boils down to living alone then why do people seek companionship?

I have this insane theory that in past one or two decades there has been an unending debate on individuality. Individuality is being advertised and sold and celebrated. There’s nothing wrong in seeking individuality but in this search, we have also lost the sense of inter-dependability and the feeling of belongingness because, hello, no one is talking about it except a generation which has an un-updated repository of knowledge and has irrational fears.

Alcohol and weed have been made a cool thing to have. Parties begin when the bottom of the glass is reached. And the spaces that people wanted earlier got converted into the zones in which the significant other for the time being cannot enter.

What can you do when you’re in the middle of relationship turmoil?

Well, with all the negativity that is hovering in and around our lives all we could do is to let the significant other be what he/she may want to be. Because what you’re scared of will come in front of you in one way or the other. All you could do is to be supportive, caring and forgiving. And if it is meant to be then the destiny will find a way to keep you together.

More on this later.
Alcoholism

March 1st, 2018

It started with a small peg with my elder cousin brother and went on to become a habit. I was in denial for so long that it is something that I do occasionally, but the truth was, I was habitual and it transformed me into a raging alcoholic.

When I say raging alcoholic that doesn’t mean that I ever created hindrances in others lives (Maybe at times) or it ever came in between my study plans or other important stuffs. But at one point I was so sure that I wouldn’t make through my life without it…

… And when I realized that I’m addicted to it, I decided to quit. Because nothing in this world can make sense when you’re high enough to not care about anything. Now I’m almost 3 years clean and super proud of the fact that alcohol does not control my plans.

Yesterday I shared a picture of scotch bottles and got an amazingly engaging response on whatsapp which made me wonder whether this proxy war that we are at with ourselves is making us all lose our true selves.

Alcohol brings no good time. But what it brings along with it is a burden. Burden of addiction. What people may argue is that it also brings freedom. Yes, it does bring freedom. Freedom to be carefree, freedom to enjoy yourself, but what it also brings along with it is an abuse of that freedom, either by yourself or by the person being carefree along with you.

What I can advise you guys is that try to enjoy this life, this freedom, in your senses. And if you are one of those who think that they can handle their drink because they drink responsibly then remember that your fun ends where someone else’s nose begins.

It’s your choice to pick your habits and interests, but remember that your choices can also make ripples of goodness in this world and lives of those who care about you.

Happy Holi.
High on Chai

February 9th, 2018

How much time, or rather how many cups of chai are required to catch up with your machhas, is a very difficult question.
And no-one has come up with a sustainable answer for it. Sustainable because alcohol makes its pupil quite unsustainable.

Chatting over a chai in our country has changed governments. Eating pakodas might change it again. Well, effect of before-mentioned game of thrones on friendship is subject of research for some other day.
Today’s burning question still revolves around the required numbers of cup of chai in a group of friends especially when they are meeting after a decade.

I say N where N is the number of cups after which you’re high enough to make a plan to meet next and not high enough to regret it.

Last time when I meet these guys one of them was going through a breakup and got married last night with no regrets.

And if you’re still stuck on the fact that N is not a valid equation then FU and you’re smart enough to understand what’s FU… FIRST UNDERSTAND that numbers don’t matter when you want to have a good time.

More for later.
Inferno

January 19th, 2018

Remember when Robert Langdon ran across the Vatican City to save the potential popes… Wait, that was Angels & Demons in Inferno he was exploring Dante’s hell or as I would like to call it – my social life.

As a kid, my sole archenemy was that piece of Parle-G biscuit which decided never to come out after the dip in holy tea and also that was later ruined by one Mr. Khurana using it as an innuendo for erectile dysfunction. I mean this Mr. Khurana could have his own problems and I have mine.

My archenemy, now, is this adulthood and his sidekicks are those people who come to remind me that I have grown up. I have. I mean the midriff which was once a hanger-on which I used to drape my clothes has grown up to become a balloon which enters a room before my face could. Hairs which romanced with air once are now found sleeping with the towel. Their life is going down the drain.

These are all good things. I mean these are just traits of the aging process. My irritation doesn’t sprout from this but from the fact that other fellow assholes are aging too… and few them like wine – they smell foul and when stirred they throw up(fuckers!)

They throw up advice and opinions with subtle advice. These fuckers have opinions about everything. And if they have to be believed then they and their relatives have undergone every existing circumstances possible in this world.

These group of individuals and their covalent come in all shapes, sizes and holier than thou lifestyle choices and react badly to sarcasm. Their choices of weapons are Religion, Social Norms, Parampara-Pratishta-Anushashan, and something that happened to someone else. All they seek is their retirement plans and your happiness.

What can you and I do to void this?

Umm, let me know if you have any solution or poison to give them.
Passsion

November 25th, 2017

Used my extra-ordinary talent to google this image again. Taken from PINTREST.

Movies, Newspapers, Social Media any platform available in Milky Way admits that ‘passion’ is the Buzzword of the decade.

Half of the people I meet these days want to follow their passion. And half the people I’m not meeting is also pouring these magical words into someone else’s ears that they want to be a unicorn and I’m thirty-nine percent sure that these people, might or might not in return, must be telling them to go for it.

I’m not a pessimist. I don’t see the glass half empty. Ji Nahi. Instead, I have got a quick response to the bullshit that people serve me.

First of all, everyone has a passion to be something “creative” only.

It started with the dream of being a bestselling author then Photographers took over then all of these were brought down by the standup comics of our nation. Call it digital convenience or Make in India; everyone suddenly got a platform to become a celebrity. And not to forget, our national dream of becoming a Bollywood star.

Yaar you can accuse me of being cynical but this passion is on the same footing as Make in India – Not properly guided.

To become a sportsman you need stamina, endurance, practice, determination but, if every guy from Indian crossroads have to be believed then, to become a Bollywood Star you need only two things Hair Gel & Gym, and maybe skin tight Ed Hardy t-shirts and if your surname reads ‘Kapoor’ then – KARAN JOHAR!

Likewise to become a business tycoon you need an idea, unemployment, and re-runs of TVF Pitchers.

I know. Till now you must have had a hundred arguments against the things that I have mentioned and I agree with all those arguments without any rebuttal.

And the reason that I’m not rebutting is that you if you suffer from any of the scenarios that I have mentioned then you’re never going to understand what’s coming next and the reason you won’t comprehend it is that you are full of shit. Shit served by the brands, stupid sitcoms, your friends who are half empty, and the achievers who never tell this world how much bullshit now they serve others by not telling real qualities that others must acquire to reach the position where THEY are.

You may question, what authority and qualities do I hold to say these things?

Two Words – Common Sense…

See you may dream or aspire to become anything from A for Astronaut to Z for Zoologist. We all need certain qualities to reach wherever we want.

Passion is nothing without business sense. You must possess business sense if you want to follow your “passion.” Your likeability factor must top the charts. Your sensibility must be smart enough in itself to know that when you’re being served with propaganda. And your courage must give strength to others and obviously – to yourself.

Enough rant for now… I shall return to shatter some glass and burst some bubbles.
Justice League

November 18th, 2017

As a kid, when I developed my interest in our desi superheroes my elder brother introduced me to the concept of plagiarism. He gave me a couple of Superman and Batman comics… well, our heroes were not directly based but heavily influenced by the Marvel/DC characters. But this handshake with years old characters sparked an itch in me to go through all the possible timelines and storylines I could. A nerd was born and from there started a journey which took me to the cinema hall last night to catch the first justice league movie.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether you want to watch the movie or not but for me it was a lot of nostalgia loosely packed in two hours.

Nostalgia, because I blushed when Princesses Diana saw Bruce checking his wounds… and also because Superman and Flash were going to race. Man, it was so awesome to catch that entire graphic to motion picture changes.

I enjoyed every single bit of it but at times I also felt that DC is in some kind of hurry. You know, like a friend who is back from a vacation and wants to tell you every possible thing in a single breath.

I had this same feeling while watching Dawn of Justice. Where on one hand Marvel took sufficient time to narrate the story and make necessary changes every now and then, on the other hand, I find DC’s attempt quite rushed.

Well, the thing is for an avid comic reader like me it is a great time. Watching Ragnarok two weeks back and catching Justice League this week is nothing but pure bliss.

And also, is it just me or anyone else also think that Batman’s character also seems to be jinxed like Defense against the Dark Arts position?
Bargain

November 18th, 2017

I don’t have what it takes to click such a beautiful picture, a camera but I have an extraordinary talent to google search market image and pick up beautiful picture that suits my purpose. All credits to the person who clicked this and people at google.

Yaar, how can one learn to bargain?

My friend says it’s a state of mind, like poverty. No, he is not the guy you’re thinking. He is just another normal friend who always has an opinion on almost everything and rarely lets you complete your sentences. My fear is fun for him and my fun makes him drowsy. I can write next two thousand words on how different we are fundamentally but are still friends with each other. Explaining differences he admits that Each individual is different from each other and there’s nothing like right or wrong and this is how the world is supposed to be. So, according to him its pretty chicken of me to be not able to bargain. Yes, this is how the world is supposed to be.

Talking about being fundamentally different, my girlfriend says bargaining is something which comes inherently to which my mother takes offense and says I have got qualities from my father’s side. And in reply to which my father says nothing as there is nothing worth wasting his paan for.

The significant other says just slash the price by half of whatever the hawker/seller is quoting. I once tried that and let me quote what seller quoted that day, “Babu Ji, you people are rich and still do all this. We are poor people, trying to provide education to our kids.” I paid 50 bucks more for that item and later I was humiliated by my cousins for not knowing that vendors say such thing even when they aren’t married.

My bae is super cute when she bargains. She is shopping chameleon. She has an eye for details. She has the superpower of touching fabric and telling people where it has come from and what cost would suit its purpose. She might have hated geography as a student but she continues to belong from different places where she shops. She is the Bear Grylls of shopping world.

With all the shame and humiliation I have brought to my tribe there’s only one thing I can do i.e. to never tell anyone what I have bought.

OR, OR…

I can just carry my weapon of mass bargain everywhere.
First blog post – On WordPress

November 4th, 2017

I copied my first blog post and the second blog post was outsourced to me by my elder brother. So basically my third blog post was my first blog post and I wrote that to impress a girl I knew then. I don’t know whether she was impressed or not, but what I know is that she is married to someone else now and the girl I fell madly in love with is a keeper and doesn’t give a shit who I’m trying to impress.

I already have blogs on Blogspot where I have been writing poems, scribbling idiotic posts since last eight years, but still, I’m here to create redundancy. Redundancy not of content but of my name, JI HAAN.

So what I’ll do here?

Same old stuff with more idiocy.

See you guys soon.