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Expanding The Horizons

  • Daddu

    June 10th, 2021

    My first memory of my grandfather is him asking me a maths question and me dodging him. It ain’t the earliest memory but I remember it quite clearly. How he used to ask LCMS, HCFS, and how I learnt nothing from the great man.

    He has been a hustler all his life. I would be lying if I say that he always had a comfortable life. He went through the trial and tribulations of life with a wide smile and exuberance. He once shared with me how he dealt with life and people pulling him back. I don’t know if I’m ready to share his answer with the world right now.

    He was an unapologetic foodie who always ate in moderation. A singer who made few songs his melody. He was a dedicated husband, appreciative of his wife. A father who provided to his children beyond their wildest imagination and a Grandfather who took care of his grandchildren with utmost love and support. A Mathematician who romanced logic and numbers and an individual who had faith, fears, optimism, honesty, compassion, self-awareness, tolerance and competence.

    In the last decade, I took him to the doctors, Operation theatre, Temples, Weddings and what not. I measured his blood pressure, got him his medicines and had long conversations with him. Also, we had conversations before this but the last decade was specifically the period when we talked about many things and also agreed to disagree on a lot of stuff.

    At this point, I’m also very thankful for my parents, who have without any expectations have taken care of him and my grandmother, more than anyone in this world would have.

    It has been one month since he has taken this journey to the infinite and I’m still heartbroken and scared that many of our conversations never met their end. What I know right now is that he had a lot to teach us and I’m sure he’ll keep guiding and teaching us from the beyond.

    We love you, Dada Ji.

    More on him later.

    JD.

  • “आपदा में अवसर”

    May 8th, 2021

    शायद प्रधानमंत्री ने जब ये कहा होगा की हमे आपदा के अवसर तलाशने होंगे तब उन्हे भी ये अंदाजा नहीं होगा की जो वो कह रहे है और जो लोग करने वाले है वो एक दूसरे के बिल्कुल विपिरर्थक हैं। जहां तक मुझे लगता है , प्रधानमंत्री ने ये कहा होगा की लोग आपदा में […]

    “आपदा में अवसर”
  • Melody of A Moment

    May 5th, 2021
    Same Same But Different.

    After hundreds of thousands of years of history, it is amazing, how we can experience our existence. How our small moment of experience can resonate through time. How one can feel what another is going through. This ability to empathise is what makes us human distinct. These small moments create the harmony we call life.

    So, there’s this series called “Yeh Meri Family”  and in the concluding scene, there’s this younger brother who realises that his elder brother has left a walkman that they were fighting about earlier and rushes to bid a farewell from Terrace one last time as his elder brother’s car leave for its destination. And there’s this amazing song in the background. Here’s a YouTube link for the same. Now, it’s an amazing song it says a lot about what a character is going through or if you look closely how life is changing its melody. It speaks of reminisce, it speaks of a promise, it speaks about fear.

    Now. Cut to the recent web series Aspirants, I got to hear this song once again. Now the setup has changed. But, still the song speaks volumes. It still speaks of realization,  results,  pain, memories.

    Amazingly used by the creators in both the situations. However, if we look closely we see a drastic change awaiting characters. Coincidence?  Definitely not. Both the show comes from the same production house. Creators have used the song brilliantly in both the situations. All praise to the people involved in the song and both series. May be till now they would have become accustomed to such praise from strangers.

    The song is soulful and amazing. Also, the writer has done a tremendous job. I wish I could meet and tell him that he has made me believe that his character exists.

    Do give it a try.

    See you guys soon.

    P.S.  I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye. Yann Martel Through Pi Patel. 

    P.P.S. Rest In Peace Irrfan Khan Sahab. You’ll always be missed.

  • Covid 19

    April 30th, 2021
    All Credits To The Maker.

    Since last year I, like many others, have been reading a lot about SARS COV-2. And one try his/her best to take precautions. But, when you live in a country where everyday is a festival and every road is a carnival and every room is a war room you sooner or later move close to the inevitable.

    So, after avoiding it for almost a year the inexorable mild symptoms have knocked down the Fort Knox of Dubey Household. Two out of three floors of our humble abode has been turned into different isolation rooms where everyone is trying to sniff what Mummy is cooking to try to stay sane.

    We’ll be going for test today, have started working on our symptoms, kadha has replaced all the mocktails. And if you believe my father these elixirs are the best kind of mocktails to have… however, if you’ll listen to my mother she has some interesting Jokes to tell.

    Like Yesterday, she decided not to put salt in any of the food and suddenly the three “lokas” of Dubey Household went into panic that they can’t taste anything.

    So, this is what has happening since last couple of days. Everyone is going for the “test” today. Let’s hope the results are negative.

    Stay Safe Guys. See you on the other side.

    JD

  • Evolution of a Prayer

    March 19th, 2021

    Well, the last exam I appeared in was in 2018, UP Judicial Services and after missing the qualifying number by one mark, I decided to quit. Quit ain’t an appropriate word to use here because in my head I wanted to do it but somewhere I was just tired of this neverending process. Since then, I got married, started practising full time and learnt how to put a dead plug from a plumber. But that’s not what I want to talk about. Here’s what I share.
    So, while practising I had to be in the court and chamber for twelve to fourteen hours. Yes. And after reaching home I just used to crash. Now, comes this MP judicial Service Examination, for which I have studied nothing. But after submitting the form I bargained a lot. I initially bargained for time. The indecisiveness of either to appear or to just be a part of other rat race kept me busy for a very long period.
    And then came the day when the exam’s date was notified. I panicked, ordered a couple of books, started doing some previous year question papers but most importantly I kept bargaining for some more time. I prayed to God that may exam be postponed till I get prepared enough to not bargain anymore. But, then came the admit cards and birthdays, and wedding, wedding anniversary, and one more birthday and the news of increasing Covid Cases. Somewhere I believed that maybe due to the surge in covid cases exam will be postponed but no… As I write this I’m all set to leave for the examination. Unprepared? Maybe. But the bargain has changed now I’m asking God to shower me with some last-minute courage and luck.
    Also, the title for this unfortunate turn of circumstances could be Journey of a bargain.
    See you guys around.
    JD

    P.S. My father says the title could also be How to Manage Your Time… On it Now then.

  • A Bad Day

    December 22nd, 2020

    Man! I have written so many pieces since the last time I updated the blog but I can’t believe, sigh, I’ll be putting this on blog.

    So, today morning, I along with my father went to the passport office. And when we were leaving the parking, guard stopped us and asked for the parking slip. So, I stopped the car, remember this, my car was in a stationary position, we were still, talking to guard, giving him the slip, asking the way out and bam! Comes a woman in a red estillo and drives her car right under the fire safety faucet. And needless to say that it obviously damaged the roof of her car. But then she came out and started blaming our car for this. A car which was motionless. She made some rude gestures but guard said something to her and asked us to leave. So, I reversed my car, left the parking but this incidence got stuck in my head for the whole day. How in god’s name someone is so fucking stupid and entitled that they blame some other person for their mistake. I don’t know why but this incidence is frustrating me right now and I just want to build a time machine and go back and make some rude gestures to her.

    Well, obviously the day didn’t end here. I came back home in the evening. All tired after the day’s work and my phone rings. It was something I had ordered. But through that call speaks my guard informing me that he is allowing this guy to deliver my kitchen stuff but because as the permission that I had sought from maintenance office has expired he won’t allow any carpenter to enter the society and in a jiff, I said okay I’ll get the permission but then came his “or else and what not blah blah blah blah” to which I humbly replied I’ll get it done and disconnected the call. Items reached my house. I called maintenance, dropped a mail informing them about the guard and had my dinner.

    But man, now when I sit to study and do other personal stuff. I’m having this extreme frustration that these two incidents have caused me.

    Why are people such assholes? Why in the name of God people can’t be little humble? Why can’t I get those thoughts out which are stuck in my head? Why can’t be this world be a little more kind?

    There’s no specific reason as to why I want this to be on the blog but if you’re reading it. Just don’t be some entitled assholes ruining people’s day.

    Later.

  • Video Games

    October 29th, 2020

    I wrote seven lines and then deleted it all just to start writing again. You may wonder why? And the answer to this simple question will unfold in upcoming paragraphs.

    If I remember correctly when we lived in Saharanpur, my elder brother took me to a shop, I was somewhat 3-4 years old. Now, It can not be called a video game parlour because a parlour has a lot to offer but that particular shop had just one black and white television and an 8-bit gaming console. But yes, You can call the shop owner opportunist. He used to charge a good sum of money for one game of Super Mario. Those were the days when spending five rupees on video games was something that was seen by middle-class parents as a rag living life of a king. So, in our lavish lifestyle, we used to save this small amount of money for our leisure, which had just three lifelines. My elder brother was generous enough to lend me his lifeline. One may wonder if loved me so much or just didn’t like playing Mario and the answer to that would be yes. He, I don’t know, if hated the game but was loving and supporting enough to see me beating grown-ass humans in random games.

    Then one fine day, after a lot of years, my mama bought me an 8-bit console. I must be 8 or 9. You guys won’t believe it but This was the time when I owned bazillion games. 999999 in one, imagine so many games just in one. Long story short, my cousin and I had some good times playing on that sweet potato. Sorry if you feel hurt that I have called it a potato. But in my defence, I love potatoes.

    Then was the advent of Intel Pentium 4 and I started playing, then, three years old tomb raider games. I was late to the party but that meant those games ran with more ease. My father thought I was on to something big but the only huge thing I had was my score in ‘icy tower”. Have you guys played it? It was temple run before temple run was even cool. Wait, does the last sentence make any sense?

    Courtesy to my elder brother, I kept upgrading my PC and kept playing wonderful games. Name a game and I would tell you how I either sucked in it or fucked someone’s mom in it. No, the last bit is not true. Those were the days when gamers were polite enough to slip only a few waves of cuss words here and there.

    Then in 2011 came one fateful day when I decided to quit gaming. Amnesia the dark descent was the last game that I played. I never, actually, left gaming. I have always had all the updates. Radbrad became more often “go-to” YouTube channel. But, I never played any game during these last nine years. Well, I played at times but I used to consciously pull myself out of such five minutes of self-pleasure. During this period I have planned to buy a console-like ten million times. But most of the time I have failed to convince myself.

    Last week, I purchased an entry-level gaming laptop. Today, I purchased Tomb Raider which was released in 2013, in a steam sale. I felt like life coming in a full circle. But then I turned off my laptop, packed all my stuff with utmost patience and love and started writing what I eventually deleted.

    “Games are not complicated, people are. We complicate our lives over things which could have been easily avoided. But is ‘avoiding’ a solution? Escapism will not help you achieve what you seek. So, I constantly remind myself to not engage in something that I have a platonic relationship with. Gaming can wait.”

    Well, what can I say? I love gaming.

    P.s. this blog may not make any sense but those who know, know.

    See you guys later.

  • JL 50

    September 7th, 2020

    Last series that I guzzled was, Dark. And I was overwhelmed.

    I liked it so much that after a long time, rather than complaining about GOT’s last season I actually had conversation about the dark… with people who have not watched it. Such futile conversations I tell you.

    Well thing is, this week I watched JL50 and before moving to any other statement I just humbly want to submit that I liked the series.
    Now, that being said, JL50 is almost fifteen years late because that was the time when I watched back to the future series and man what mad impressed I was with the phenomenal concept of space time continuum.

    And if I would have watched it at that time then I would have openly agreed that I’m in love with Abhay Deol. Abhi, I just say it to confidantes.

    Not to brag, but I’m not that smart. But I do like to witness amazing things happening. Every new story makes me hungry for more. And I just keep exploring.

    JL50 is actually answer to the question what if Dark was a short story written by a lazy young boy.

    It has some cool performances, some heavy background score and thankfully not so-much stretched episodes.

    Abhay Deol is my favourite Deol. I have even watched “One By Two” but I’m not complaining because I have also watched “Amit Sahni ki List.” Man, Vir Das does not make smart choices… And this is coming from a man who has made some horrible -horrible choices. At least, Vir is making some money out of it.

    Chalo, this is all I have for now or else this will turn into something else. Watch JL50.

    Ciao.

  • This is me

    August 5th, 2020

    Gratitude is a hard a thing to come by when you are feeling hollow. These days I feel very hollow, like there’s something missing. Self doubt has clouded the shine of clarity and the only question that echoes through my existence is, would I ever be able to redeem myself.

    Sadness has not helped anyone. It may have also made people do unimaginable things. But tonight I don’t know why I want to be in the grip of this sadness because this is where my choices have led me.

    People have been very interesting throughout this journey. They have been extremely kind, helpful, and rude most of the times. Rude because at times I was hurt because of things they said to me. There’s a possibility that they could have been, at least, telling their side of the truth.

    I earlier said that, “I have made interesting, or rather bizarre, choices in the past”, Reason I don’t know whether to call it interesting or bizarre is I don’t know what has been happening with me right now or maybe because I’m hopeful the next morning would be different. Different from what I’m feeling right now. Bringing more positive vibes.

    Regaining faith is one of the exercises that I’m doing these days. Being in touch with the spiritual side helps you sail through tough times. And in hope of sailing I’m throwing my hands and legs at full speed. This speed is powered be hope. This hope is directly proportional to the mood swings. This hope has till now kept me hooked to the sanity of choices that I have made.

    This is me right now. Confused, Obese, Trying to be sober, Gloomy, Anxious and a little scared.

    P.S. I’m leaving this on blog as a reminder to myself that not all days are same. People do not stay same. And if you’re reading this and are a little worried about me then please don’t be. There’s nothing to worry. Happiness is just around the corner. For me, and you as well.

    See You Guys Soon.

    Jd

  • Shakuntala Devi

    August 2nd, 2020

    I hope I remember this correctly. Once, My Grandfather and couple of his colleagues hosted a dinner party for Shakuntala Devi ji in Shimla. My grandmother cooked the dinner but didn’t joined them in eating. Shakuntala Devi Ji liked the dinner so she asked ho had cooked the food et cetera and my grandfather proudly told her about amazing culinary skill of my grandmother.

    Then she asked the most obvious question, “why my grandmother was not eating with them” and when she came to know that my grandmother was hesitant of them, she went inside to meet my grandmother and tell that her culinary skill is unmatchable and she should never be hesitant of anyone.

    This story was told to me by my elder brother
    He wanted me to solve one of the puzzles from her one of the books and I have no hesitation in telling the world that I’m mathematically challenged.

    So, the Shakuntala Devi I knew from the story that my brother has told me is the Shakuntala Devi I found in the movie. Strong, independent, fun.

    Vidya Balan is an outstanding actor. Whatever I would speak of her would be way too little to express how amazing she is at her job. And this clearly depicts that I’m not very good at writing praises.

    I watched the movie based on her, Shakuntala Devi, with my two brothers. I have zero knowledge of movie making so I won’t comment on its nuances, but what I can say confidentiality is that I enjoyed the movie.

    We also watched Raat akeli hai starring Nawazudin Sidqui, Radhika Apte and many more amazing actors. But more on this later.

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