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  • Do’s

    December 10th, 2019

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    You know someday, like several others, your kids will ask you this too. Where were you when the voices that should have been heard were being systematically choked down. Where were you when once again mob saw no issue in fees hike, when education funds were being cut and history was being re-written, when an entire lobby was against those who were supposed to have a time of their life in college and your, “I was gullible AF kid.” won’t create any difference.

    But there’ll be some who’ll tell the kids that their courage was tested and bruised and buried, not by those who attacked them, but by those who thought the man with sticks had a right plan.

    So, next time when you see a person telling his/her problem, lend your ears to them for a while and understand how life and society could be heterogeneous. Try to understand how important it is to keep the spirit of education alive. Tell others how important it is for humanity to fix every problem ranging from individuals to groups, and how important it is to stand behind the rationality and keep the empathy alive in people along with logic.Or else remember the golden words by the great Javed Akhtar Saab in Swades, “Fir na kehna nirbal hai Kyun hara” #YeTaraWoTaraHarTara

    It’s just a small note while I finish my coffee and see if I can contribute more in nation building.

    Signing off for today.

    JD

  • Sculpturist

    July 13th, 2019

    Is sculpturist even a word? because if it is then why there’s a red line under it. Fuck it. I’m not going to change it. Here’s a small idea that I had and I thought was cool so wrote a short two-pages story about it. I have also updated it on wattpad. if you guys want you can read it there but here’s a catch why should wattpad have all the fun? I’m copy pasting the same story here. Let me know what you guys think in the comments. newtemplate_1_original

    Never in his voyage had he thought about death. The desert he was crossing mostlykept him hungry but his determination fueled his body. He felt chills even whenthe sun burnt the sand around him. Sometimes he felt so cold that after fillinghis flask, he kept moving forward without bathing and those oases just keptappearing miraculously to remind him of the task that the almighty had givenhim. Hisbelief that he would succeed grew stronger with every chill he felt during scorchingheat and those brief breathlessness that he felt during the night.

    *The world must be fixed*

    From the time he was a kid, he had known no one and till the time of awakening, he had a hazy memory of only one accident which he called the last embrace. He remembered roaming in an empty building. That building was his learning place. He learnt random things about that place.And most importantly, he remembered being taught by the almighty himself.

    The almighty wore white robes that were endless. The almighty’s voice was firm while teaching, but during supper that voice used to become more generous. Almighty taught him how to eat and behave. He asked almighty, why he is alone and almighty always said, ‘only time will tell.’ When he turned fourteen he was given a book titled ‘The End & the Genesis’ from which he gained his firs consciousness. From that book he learnt that when his inferior forefathers turned greedy they exploited the soil that he walked on and polluted to water that he drank. When the destruction went beyond any repair he was raised from the clay by founding forefathers of the new soil and water. When he finished the book he again asked for his purpose and he was again told nothing by the almighty.

    Itwas funny the way his body reacted when he turned sixteen. He started feelingsensations he had never experienced. Rage arose from his nescience. And when hebecame self-destructive the almighty gave him access to a part of building henever had been to. He came to know about the genders. There were beings thatwere not like him. They were attractive and their body looked more appealing. He started craving the sensation of touch. And one day temptation took control of his solitude and he committed what almighty called his first sin, the sin of touching himself, the sin of giving himself the forbidden pleasure.

    He was thrown in a cell by almighty where the void ate whatever the little light and knowledge he had of the past world. What remained was a hazy memory of those endless white robes and of a skin that he could not have. It was two years later, after his second consciousness that he started receiving scrolls. Almighty communicated to him through those scrolls. Through first scroll almighty asked what he remembered. Through second he asked if he knew the purpose of his life. He never had any answers. He asked the same questions in return, but the almighty never answered. The last order was given by almighty to him. This order sent him on this voyage. The order was to find the clay from which he was born and to make more obedient people like him so that they can make this world a place where the almighty can come to live again.

    *PROJECT New World 4.2 initiated*

    He had never heard from almighty since then. The scrolls, through which he was taught how he would raise more people like from clay, were his only companion. This desert was the place where the clay was last seen by the new founding fathers. He shouted on almighty at times, but the almighty never answered. He committed sin time and again, but the almighty never cared. Almighty had given a purpose and that purpose was all that gave him energy to drag his skin around.

    One day he reached an oasis which felt denser to him. The water tasted salty yet life giving. He felt vibrations that he never had after drinking from that source. He examined the oasis carefully and found shiny reflective balls at the bottom of the water source. He dived inside and bought all those balls on the surface. It was indeed the clay of life.

    *day becomes little brighter*

    He started putting those balls on top of one another and made a figure which resembled a being he had seen in a book called, “the beings of life”. It had long tusks. He made many more like these so that balls can be carried back to the building he was born in. And once those beings started carrying clay balls to his building he made more people like his skin. They followed his orders. They gathered logs; they dug canals to make a building which was bigger than the size of the building where the first ‘he’ was born. “The building will have all the resources for almighty so that when the almighty comes he’ll have all the luxuries.” he thought to himself.

    He then created the skin he craved for years. She had hair like clouds and breasts as tender as ripe fruits. He feared the almighty would throw him again in cell for this, but the almighty never answered to his voice. He had her. He kept her with him all the time and she, with all the dedication, pleased him.

    The third born from the clay worked day and night and the first temple for almighty was created. But almighty never came, never answered. He kept creating every being from the same book. Soon his creations were all around. They all followed him. He was a father to them that he wanted for himself. He told them the story of almighty. They never disbelieved him, but for them he was nothing short of almighty.

    When he started growing weak, he realized, he needed someone like him who can keep creating the third generation of clay. He made a skin like no other, soft yet strong. He called him the Dreamer.

    Dreamer exceeded his expectations. He not only created beings never mentioned before, he excelled the architecture. He created palaces which made the first temple look small. Years pass by. Dreamer called the first-he his almighty and called him God. It pleased him, but who in the creation has not fallen for the power. But this power he enjoyed didn’t last long, because what dreamer couldn’t create for himself, was possessed by the god he admired.

    Dreamer didn’t come out of his castle for days and when the doors opened, a mighty army of first daemons roared and ran towards the palace of God. God knew dreamer was more skilled and powerful than him. War cry grew louder and louder. He goes into her room and kills her. He kills what he lusted the most.

    It took the dreamer less than hour to destroy what God and he created in years. And now the two creations faced each other. Dreamer runs towards God with blood in his eyes and suddenly it goes dark for both of them. Entire world shuts down.

    *Simulation Fails*

    “Fuck… Fuck… Fuck.” Steve slams his computer in anger.

    “This is fourth fucking time…” spilled coffee from the desk makes a stream towards his notes. He picks it up as the team of engineers in project ‘New World’ looks more disheartened. “Arrange a meeting tonight itself. I want to brief and discuss it with Doctor Hari.” Steve says to his secretary as other people from the group starts stretching to get ready for the next session. 

    *21st September 2122, 7.04 PM*

    “Welcome Steve.” Doctor Hari smiles as Steve walks into his well lit cabin.

    “Doctor another simulation failed. I don’t know if…”

    “It’s alright Steve. You look disheartened. ” Doctor Hari says before Steve could finish his sentence.

    “Doctor this has happened for the fourth time in a row. I don’t know if my team is ready to go at it again” Steve looks pale.

    “This doesn’t mean that you should feel defeated.” Dr Hari says, smiling on Steve’s low energy. “We have funds flowing; I suppose every family associated with the project is getting better education, health care”

    “Doctor, I’m an engineer my job is to make sure that the world created in the simulation runs smoothly. And frankly speaking the world is running just fine, it’s just that I’m not happy with the work of the team associated with anthropology”

    “Why?” Dr. Hari looks puzzled.

    “Sir, before starting every simulation, as per suggestion of other professors, we make sure that it is up to first cookie to nourish and nurture that world so that they can have a simple hierarchy of commands, but every single time cookies have come up with a way to destroy each other.” Steve looks more annoyed and picks up a glass of water from the desk.

    “Isn’t it a good thing? We humans are like that too.” Dr. Hari says smiling.

    “Yeah! We sort of are.” Steve says, exhaling air as he stretches his body.

    “You think God created us or was it our boredom and inquisitiveness that we feared, created the God” Dr. Hari continues, “We humans always feared that we don’t have enough answers so we created god. We men, at least the majority of us for centuries considered women inferior to us and treated them as objects. We created our own demons. We created weapons of mass destruction. We have exploited this planet to a point where we have almost destroyed the only home we have.” Dr. Hari smiles as he says the last line. “You say your cookies are like that, I say, they are like that because it’s us who have made them so.”

    Steve nods to what Dr. Hari said to him. He was tired of all the work.

     He keeps the glass on the table again and wipes his mouth clear from a tissue. “What if they remain same on Exo-Earth 2?” Steve asks, looking directly into the doctor’s eyes.

    *Choose next answer carefully*

    “Then it’ll be us who would have given them this power of destruction and not some god” Doctor says as he looks outside the window.

    *Human Steve has accepted the task you gave him*

    The End?

  • Cheeseburgers and Boondi

    April 30th, 2019

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    I have an uncle who like many uncles of this world is of no use to his family. So when my granddad’s elder brother died childless, he became over emotional and attached for all the obvious reasons and he said the person who died, liked the “boondis” very much so it must be distributed during the last funeral rites. Needless to say, it was made and distributed. And still that uncle couldn’t get a dime from the fortune of the deceased.

    So when you die, what is that you’ll be remembered for?

    I remember this thought also crossed my mind when I was storming my brain out on the day of my first book launch. I prefer to call it first because I’m hopeful someday I’ll also tell the story when I published my second. Well, I was saying when I was thinking about what should I say during the book launch, this question crossed into my mind. May be it was a prophecy of how my book will eventually “die”.

    Cut to six years I’m seeing Happy Hogan tells Morgan how our beloved mechanic liked cheese burgers. Man! Such strong feels. I want to talk about more about Marvel’s Endgame. But, maybe some other day. Today I’ll talk about the cheeseburgers and maybe “boondis.” Whatever it takes.

    See, the thought of dying is not uncommon what’s uncommon is the thirst for answers that you want in your lifetime. You ask from yourself, you ask from people, you beg, you try to grab answers by the collar, but still there are questions which remain unanswered.

    So how people will remember you?

    There’s always a unique way in which any other person perceives you. You may have a picture of your personality in your mind, but for others, that’s just thirty percent of how they see you. So, maybe, if you ask, they’ll tell surprising things to you, about yourself. So if you’re lucky enough to open this portal where you can see what you are, you’ll be little nicer. A little kinder towards the unfortunates.

    And if you cannot see what you are then leave others, what good you can do for yourself machha?

    This is what will fall between what people will remember about you and what they’ll speak of you. And for politicians, there’s always a third highway of propaganda.

    See you guys later.

    Love,

    J.

  • Neil Islands

    April 23rd, 2019

    Day Four was all about Neil Islands. We again stayed at the Holiday Inn here, it gave us a pool just at our door step. Our first destination was Sitapur beach which to our surprise was less crowded than any other beach. After roaming on the beach we left for coral point where I picked up dead corals, remembered where I was when the tsunami came in 2004. Kept the tradition of taking thousands of pictures alive. And returned back to the hotel to eat dinner, which by the time had started tasting same like anywhere.

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    We went to Chidiyatapu after coming back to Port Blair. Man! what mesmerizing ride it was till there. And once we were at Chidiyatapu we roamed around for a while and then took some hundred pictures yet again.

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    In the evening, though our cabby dropped us near an emporium, but honestly the last thing that I want to talk about that night is of Annapurana cafeteria. Our taste buds thanked us for eating there that night. Amazing food at reasonable prices. And the following morning we were flying back to the humble abode.

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    And since that time till now there are only two things which come to my mind. First, if Andamans would have been anywhere except India, we (a) probably would have been paying more, and (b) would have been going crazy to visit it like any other international destination.

    Secondly, I don’t know when will be he next time when I’ll walk on these shores again.

    PS – There’s a good news about the first thing though . Click This.

  • Havelock Island

    April 23rd, 2019

    Remember, under water, there’ll be immense pressure, so don’t forget to equalize the pressure, ” said our instructor before our first dive. One of the greatest one line philosophy, that, I shall be using on my peers after every fourth drink.

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    This potato wasn’t made in 2016.

     

    The next morning after an awesome visit to cellular jail I realized not only sun goes down early on the islands, but also rises way too soon for my lazy ass. Especially after moving into a new house and going through three weddings, I was, and somehow I still am, glued to the bed. But all the tiredness went away as soon as I saw the rising sun.

    So, on day two we went to Havelock Islands through Maccruz Cruise. The cruise had wonderful ambiance, helpful staff and a fairly priced canteen. But what was awaiting us at the other end was even more breathtaking than the ocean currents. Swaraj Deep.

    Same Same
    Same Same
    But Different
    But Different

     

    As I’m writing this blog, I’m realizing I’ll need to refer the list of adjectives more than ever before. White sands, blue oceans, and unreceptive cell phone are truly a blessing. We clicked pictures and moved to the Holiday Inn resort beach, which gave us an amazing stay, provided beach side bars and a conversation which probably will be a part of my autobiography.

    We started our adventures on Havelock Island with Scuba Diving and even my chronic sinuses could not stop me from acting dead under water. If only I could have written something like Farhan Akhtar, but still I reminisced those lines and we came back to our hotel to get ready to reach, as Times magazine would call it, one of the finest beaches to visit in Asia, Radhanagar Beach.

    PC to the sweet who selflessly clicked her picture.
    PC to the sweet who selflessly clicked her picture.
    who knows if i wanted to pee, the water was already salty
    who knows if i wanted to pee, the water was already salty

    We passed through semi naked old men, drenched aunties and couples making heart in front of the setting sun. The thought which is more unsettling till now is that how tourism suffers badly not only because the government is not that willing to blow some life into it, but also because we as Indian have to go through the evolution of manners.

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    I found a pamphlet for candle light dinner for couples and we decided to visit a Havelock island beach resort for the next night. Post that we made our way back to the hotel and ended our night by getting drunk on the beach.

    Day 3

     

    Elephant beach provided us more opportunity for water sports and guess what we did them all, snorkeling, jet skiing, sea walking and not boat riding because guess what we shared a boat while coming to Elephant beach. The only thing which disappointed me was that there were no elephants. I mean, what’s the deal with elephants these days why have they become so hard to get. I feel like Cersei. When you’ll get there you’ll know that there’s no bargaining and any water activity on any island will cost the same.

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    After spending our thrilling time on the Elephant beach we took our tired bodies to Kalapatthar beach. We dragged our broken bodies and happy souls on the wonderful beach which got closed till the time we reached there.

    So, remember kids, if you want to visit Kalapatthar beach, do it well before 5 pm or you can get some lessons from random beach security aunty. But this thing also came as a blessing in disguise to us, it gave us enough time to refill our energy for the amazing candle light dinner we had later that evening at Havelock Island beach resort where we had amazing food and liquor and encountered a water snake.

    More to follow.

     

  • Andamans I

    March 31st, 2019

    How everything has become easy these days? You Google what you need, you get numbers then you tell people what you want, they customize your wants and Voila! Next thing you know is that you’re on a flight to Andamans! (Thanks Flynote.)

    So I, or rather, we were on islands for four nights and five days. Two days in Port Blair, Two on Havelock Island and one day on sweet Neil Island.

    We had an early morning flight from Delhi to Port Blair via Calcutta and even after being excited about the vacation we slept till Calcutta. Our lazy ass realized the fact we were going to one of the most beautiful places on earth only when we saw the breath taking aerial view of Sunderbans for the first time. And before we could make any plans to jump, we were flying over glorious blue water of Bay of Bengal and slowly the entire “…water water everywhere nor any drop to drink” made its way into our discussion.

    And in two hours fifteen minutes from Calcutta were recording the mesmerising view of Andaman Islands. Man! What beauty!!

     

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    And as we put our feet on the ground we gained the most important piece of information about the island and all the jokes that I had ever cracked on BSNL till then were laughing on my face. Catch is, island expects you to detox yourself from the digital poison only if you’re using any other carrier than BSNL. ONLY BSNL PROVIDES 3G THERE. Imagine a planet where YOU are SUPERMAN!!! Though you get decent Airtel and Vodafone signals but they are only good for making calls to tell your mom that you’re having fun.

    So after making calls and relaxing a bit at hotel, we found a car waiting for us outside which took us to not-yet-so-spoiled Corbyn Cove Beach. Jettys were there, some ok-ish eatries and our fellow uncle citizens taking the dip in salty water with their one nipple hailing for freedom from their white ganjis.

    And after taking some two hundred pictures, which believe me is not sufficient to soak the beauty of this rocky beach, we moved forward to Cellular Jail.

    Cellular Jail, is popularly, and not lovingly, known as Kalapani was built by the Engländer which is a German word for the Britishers. Every single brick of this infamous Cellular Jail tells a story. Stories of how we were oppressed, how the wights were always a problem (Game of Thrones anyone?), and how much courage and pain does it take to convert a piece of land into a glorious nation, if only we can keep the true spirit of our Constitution and Independence alive. This empathy was followed by an amazing light and sound show.

    We finished our day with an amazing dinner at hotel.

    P.S. Special shout out to the uncle selling kachhi kairi outside Cellular Jail.
    Who calls it unripe mango. The wights?

    More to follow.

  • Netflix And Moongfali

    December 30th, 2018

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    It’s a cold winter night. Your future is as dark and cold. You’ve to study andt there’s a cell phone lying next to you, and the moongfali that you purchased by surrendering your will to get slim, what do you do?
    Simple. You watch black mirror Bandersnatch and question your reality, which you otherwise anyways do.
    So I ate groundnuts and chose nothing in the beginning, Netflix itself chose to show me whatever it wanted to. (Nahi dekhni bey prem rathan dhan payo)
    But then the fourth wall was broken and I started choosing the outcomes. And then it ended, I scratched my balls and dozed off. Woke up in the morning with terrible gas, and regret eating moongfalis but not watching Bandersnatch.
    Man! What great story it was, not as great as other interactive game stories, but what the hell, who doesn’t want to tell the protagonist to chew his nail or to shout at his on-screen I-wish-I-Could-slap him dad. I wanted to see more of Colin played by the genius kid who created mutant toys. It’s really him and mutant toys are the future.

    P.S. I’m no expert on a what a story should be, it could be anything, I liked it so I’m scribbling this blog post. I would give it 4 peanuts and an antacid.

    Next is Bird Box.

  • Shadow of the Tomb Raider

    October 9th, 2018

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    Thanks to a friend who not only shares the zest for playing video games, but also owns a ps4. His courtesy that I got to try my hands on this new edition of the Tomb Raider Franchise.

    After catching the glimpse of trailer few months ago I had this itch to try the game.

    Man!!! what treat Shadow of the Tomb Raider is. I have played TR since the time I had 256MB of RAM in my PC.  And seeing Lara do so much is like an old man seeing their kids do wonder. Not like Lara Croft is my brain child, but the connect is that strong.  An amazing storyline ( all thanks to theRadBrad), easy controls, smooth graphic transition and what not. I would totally waste my time to pursue this action adventure, but I believe, that is for some other time. For now, it’s time to get back to the usual business.

    P. S. Is it just me or you guys also feel that the Uncharted Series has changed the way the world will look at action adventure games?

  • Kantaben

    September 6th, 2018

     

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    Man I laughed my ass off when I saw that scene for the very first time. By the second time I developed appreciation for the bromance of leading actors, I still do appreciate Rohit and Aman. By the third time Kanta ben and her little homophobic stint became irrelevant to me. And movie, honestly became unbearable. I do watch it sometimes just to cherish few memories associated with it.

    You may ask why just Kanta Ben there’s this guy, who was accused of second degree homicide as US attorneys would put, he has displayed homophobic attitude openly…. But then my dear friend who hasn’t in our crumpled society where even pooping has to be sanskari.

    There are innumerous scenes that display homophobic attitude of society as a whole but Kanta ben, however, became the face of it for me. Trembling trays, rolled eyes, scandalized and spaced out look was not that of orgasm but of despise. Despise that made Kanta ben weak.

    But this is not only about Kanta Ben, it is also about Aman, who atleast made me and Naina believe that Rohit had a bad hand writing. And also showing me that laughing on a homophobic is a right thing to do.

    Let’s keep movie aside and celebrate the judgement that honourable court has delivered today. Sprouting from basic logic that each human must be considered equal.

    Our preamble declares that our constitution guarantees equality but obviously the time to act upon such guarantee is no where mentioned. When I say no where I mean who is to say that corpus will be available in twenty hours but it’s dignity maybe somewhat in hundred years.

    Well, it’s also not a time to be skeptical. Good coffee brews in its own time. For now let’s hope our legislators and policy makers will drink this coffee and will be little bit more agile in time to come.

    P.S. So many people will turn Kanta Ben today. I wish I could see couple of them cringing on national tv, just to have a good laugh.

  • Want

    September 5th, 2018

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    Life begins and ends and all the things in-between build around your ‘want’. Want is not so different from wish. You can wish that you may get what want but to get what you want, you’ve to act. Act on different levels, act upon different circumstances.

    People are not things. They have a mind and need of their own. If you want a person then what you may know, or as a matter of fact, what anyone knows is of no use. Each person is different. You may want to grow old and share your time with another person and the other person may just want to lie on a couch and play video games.

    Love does bring out certain characteristics in a person but it doesn’t guarantee that character to be permanent… but then, what is permanent in this life?

    Wanting a person and not getting him-slash-her may break your heart. You may be so unlucky that no single person would ever admire your want. But then, you may have to take the leap of faith… if you want to.

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